How To be a Smart Criminal

I know, this doesn't really seem to fit the season.

HOWEVER.

It seemed like loads of fun, and since Mike and I were at his work party last night - we came up with some helpful tips on the way home.

My husband has worked as a prosecutor for close to seven years. This means he works with the cops, is an attorney, and goes to trial a LOT. He gets cases sometimes that just blow me away.

SO. Here's what we came up with:

1. If you have a large neck tattoo, remember that these are not super common, and that you might want to put on a scarf or something before robbing a store and letting the camera get a clear view of your neck.

2. If you have drugs in your car, and the cops ask you to search your car, you're allowed to say no UNLESS they have a search warrant. (The number of people who just agree, and then have a huge bag full of marijuana in the back cracks me up. Also, nobody will believe that the scales in your trunk next to your bag of marijuana are to help your mother with her cookies)

3. If you have a warrant out for your arrest, obey the traffic laws. (This is how Mike gets most of his people with warrants, and several serial killers have been caught this way as well)

4. If there are stolen goods in the back of your car, you might want to make sure that all your car's lights work properly.

5. The tent in the backyard might not be the best hiding place for the TV you stole from the house - especially when you walk out to the tent with the TV after a fresh snowfall. (psst... footprints)

6. When it's -25 degrees, and you're in the middle of nowhere, the woods are not a great place to hide from the cops. Eventually you'll get so cold you'll end up in the back of their car. Save everyone the headache of driving up and down the road asking if you're cold enough to turn yourself in yet. They get bored, and you might end up with a fever.

7. If you believe yourself to be the King of Kirgulon, don't try to use your made up currency to pay your restitution. It won't work.

8. If you kick a cop in the groin, they will ALL know who you are, and five years after the incident, you will still be known in the precinct as "crotch-kicker girl"

9. If you die when you have a lot of pending criminal cases, there may be a few people who won't handle your death with the appropriate amount of reverence.

10. If you happen to escape from your cell in a small-town prison, your prison room sheet isn't the best way to disguise your bright orange uniform. They'll catch you again.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!

I'm on break until January 4th!! (Which is SOOOO weird) See you then :D

If you care what I've read lately, scroll down to the last post. I posted these two right on top of each other.