I haven't done a WIP Wednesday in FOREVER, but I've been editing on Insight, my VERY first YA book ever (so, it's old, and in need of serious work), and yesterday I shared five things about my MC from that book.
Today I'm sharing a few lines - cause y'all know by now that I'm a lover of the language.
If you were here on Monday - I'd LOVE a line from the character you shared your 5 or 10 things from.
This is a VERY old pitch - but just so you have an idea of the story.
Micah Johnson sees things when she touches people – every
person, every touch. It makes high school rough and friends impossible. An accidental
touch from a boy changes her solitary world when she sees herself through his
eyes, and feels him falling for her.
When another vision shows her in tears, she’s forced to put all her
trust him, not knowing if their actions will prevent the vision or become the
cause.
(only now there's more people, and more issues, and . . . well, whatever)
If I were her? I’d be
pissed. She got picked up by one boy, possibly set up with another boy, and the
guy she thought was picking her up, brought his own girl. Wait, I just thought
of myself as Landon’s girl. Am I his girl?
They don’t fight, but they’re polar opposites, and not in the way that attract. They don’t even care enough to argue, they’re just different. I sometimes wonder how on earth they were together long enough to make me.
“Have you gone out your window?” He looks back to the hole he just crawled through.
“Uh… no. I actually have this preference for doors. They work pretty awesome. They have handles. You can stand upright while you walk through…” I fold my arms in front of me, realizing how exposed I am. In so many ways. What are we? Anything? Something? Nothing?
I walk slowly. One step. Another step. Now I get why the girl in the horror movie goes up the stairs. She can’t help it. She’s practically pulled there by a combination of stupidity and curiosity.
No one knows I might have been able to save her. No one knows. It just feels like it’s something that’s stamped across my forehead.
Everything
swims. My body, my tears… the pain is like nothing I’ve ever felt. It wraps its
barbed claws around me until I’m sobbing on the floor.
“It’s not good
to keep things inside, Micah. It’ll mess with your head.” She chuckles like
she’s teasing. But I already know how keeping things inside will mess with your
head. You’ll get in fights you don’t want to have, feel anxious around the
people you love most, and see things in the woods that may or may not be there.
It’s awesome.
14 comments:
i love your excerpts!! the part about the girl in the horror movie amused me, 'cause I HATE it how they do that! or worse still, go out into the forest alone. morons!
I also love first person present tense, and my character from your last post is in my fave story of mine that is first person/present tense.
Here's a snippet:
Brinn hobbles around the house like a ghost, stopping and staring at random intervals. I try to watch her from hidden places, places where she can’t see me. But something’s happened to her; she has a newly developed sixth sense and she can tell when somebody’s watching her. She always turns wraithlike in my direction and says something like, “Hey, little sister. Why don’t you come out of there?”
I get a glimpse of that fragile part in the girls’ change room ~ a girl who can’t decide whether to laugh or cry at herself, and so, does both. At the same time. It leaves me breathless. She leaves me breathless. Her eyes reach into mine. I lean into her. I can feel her breath on my cheek. Her eyes glisten and sparkle. I watch a plump tear travel slowly down her cheek. I want to be that tear. I reach out with my hand. I brush that trickling tear from her face with my thumb. I want to kiss her every tear. I want to stay, even just a little longer, immersed in this passion-drenched moment.
Something I love about my wip? The ending. I don't mean that it's finished, I mean, how it finishes :-)
This sounds so interesting :) I hope you need a beta sometime soon.
Here's a line I love from my WIP:
“Just one more thing before I forget,” Rio said. “Sometimes they won't admit it, but women like to feel you want them so badly you’ve lost a little of your reason. Something like stolen kiss, because you want her so much you can't wait a single second.”
I totally love love love reading your stuff! You're so amazingly talented. Gah! Just in awe!
I tried my hand at contemporary, here's some of that book :)
Just to clarify, boy is teaching girl how to drive stick shift. :)
“Okay, now feather the clutch.”
“I wanna what now?”
He shakes his head, stifling his laughter. “Do you remember on Star Wars…?”
“You’re seriously going to go there?”
“Just let me finish. Millennium Falcon. Han Solo eases it into hyper drive. Do you remember?”
Yes, of course I remember. I still watch it every other week.
I've always loved this book!
Great lines and characterization.
Yay for Insight! :D
Good stuff. I always wonder how many people go back to their first ms.
I love the setting of my book. Its in Huntington Beach, so every time I get back in, its like I am at the beach!
Ohhh... LOVE the excerpt! Seriously. I hope to go back to my first MS and be able to fix it... there's something so magical about that first story. :D
And thanks for sharing. You're so talented. :D
Love this concept. ;)
I've said this before, but it bears repeating: this is such a cool concept, and if I saw this on a shelf I'd totally pick it up and buy it!
I love your excerpts. You write so cleanly and beautifully, and yet raw (in a good way). I love the way the sarcasm of the characters come out in the one about coming through the door. :)
Here's a line from the short story I just turned in:
"She sipped her drink. The wine tasted like home. "
Maybe that doesn't mean much not in context. :)
Innnnteresting. Thanks for sharing! :)
I love that my ms is almost polished. Mwa ha ha! Thanks for sharing this Jolene. =)
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